Christmas with L and Light as a Kitty Desu
by Sukika-chan
Summary: Ah, it's Christmas! Eggnog and opening presents yay! But...what if Light gets drunk? O o


Anyway, this is probably one of those random oneshots that I said I might write. Yes, it's Christmas-y, so if you're one of those "Bah, humbug" people, well, too bad. And, yes, **IT IS CRACK. PLEASE READ THIS PART. IT IS CRACK, SO IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE. WELL, NOT THAT MUCH.** So...this is the result of when I'm bored and can't think of much to write. Enjoy or not, it's just a random fic.

And, so, it was Christmas. L wasn't too big on Christmas, but Mr. Yagami requested this time as a time to "get to know each other." L thought that he knew Light quite well enough (if you don't believe me, go back and watch episode 18 from around six minutes into the episode and on). Even so, L managed to get Light a present. Who knew if it was a good one or not, it was the thought that counted...right?

Well, actually, quite wrong. Because you never know what the giver is thinking, in L's point of view.

Christmas finally arrived. And that night, in L's large family room, was quite a disaster, especially since "dumb ass" Matsuda ( to find out why I called him a "dumb ass", once again, go back and watch episode 18 with subtitles and see what L says) brought eggnog. And he didn't know that he put too much alcohol in Light's cup(come on, it's Matsuda. What do you expect?).

Well, then, how about we start from the present-opening? After all, this is where the hysteria begins...

So, L presented his gift to Light. Light did the same for L, and they unwrapped their gifts, all the while having a stare down.

"Er...can you still even see what your gifts even are?" asked the confused Matsuda. Mr. Yagami nudged him gently and coughed. Matsuda fell silent.

L pulled out an awfully frilly, lacy, pink dress. He poked at it as if it were contaminated, but a glimmer of interest sparkled in his eyes. A slight smile grew on his face when he saw Light open his gift.

Light didn't receive a gift much better. Pulling out a pair of awfully frilly, lacy, pink toe socks, he stared at them, slightly horrified. But of course, he smiled evilly as he saw L poke at the pink dress.

"My apologies, that gift is for Misa-Misa. I put the name tag on the wrong gift, that is all." L replied calmly, all the while laughing hysterically on the inside.

"Oh, sorry, that's for Misa. I accidentally put on the wrong sticker." Light replied sincerely, while laughing his famous Kira laugh on the inside. Well, more like the Kira laugh played backwards. But maybe not as seagull-like.

"Huh? But Misa-Misa's presents are already opened!" Misa replied, pointing at her pile of presents, most of them from poor Matsuda.

"Hmm...is that so?" the two teenage boys replied in unison without even noticing.

"That's...scary," Matsuda laughed nervously, failing to lift the black storm of suspicion raging above the two boys' heads.

"Excuse me, I need to use the restroom," L announced, glaring at Light.

"And I," Light replied, a slight growl deep within his throat.

Thankfully, L's bathroom was in five-star hotel suite status – huge, marble floor, and gold-rimmed bath, shower, etc. The disadvantage – since it was so big, every time they talked even normally, it would echo loudly. Not to mention them fighting each other again.

"For Misa, huh? For Misa, my ass! What kind of a --" A kick in the face from L was delivered. The chain didn't help.

"And did you not say something quite simil --" A punch in the face from Light. Once again, the chain didn't help.

"Do I need to repeat myself? An eye for an --" Another punch from Light. They toppled over onto each other.

"Don't give me your --" A knee in the stomach and an uppercut from L. And that sent both of them across the room. Wow, don't I sound like an announcer on a boxing channel.

And, before you could even blink, they both had each others' shirt collars.

"Ahahaha!!!!! Eggnog for everyone!!!! Sharing is caring!!!!!" Matsuda cried, bursting into the room with a cheesy smile on his face. "Here, here!" Matsuda shoved the cups into the two boys' hands and managed to leave the room in 0.2 seconds. L decided that perhaps, this time, Matsuda was quite clever by leaving the room quickly. He was probably going to receive some insulting, heavily coated with sarcasm (Light and L's specialty), if Matsuda stayed any longer.

"Eggnog?" L released Light's shirt collar. "Hmm..." L thought as he drank the cup of eggnog. He sighed. "Brainless Matsuda forgot to put alcohol in mine. Ah well. I don't want to much alcohol anyway." L pulled out three sugar packets from is pocket.

"And where did those come from?" Light asked, also letting go of L's shirt collar. He rolled his eyes when he noticed that L was ignoring him. Light sighed and drained the whole cup, realizing too late that his cup was practically all alcohol. Ah, well. Looks like the boys were going to have a busy night – and it depends on who you ask to find out whether it was fun or not.

Well, going back to the story. Light and L managed to cease their bathroom break and resume opening presents. Light got a snow globe with Misa's name in it ("So you can remember Misa-Misa forever!" she had said), a new wallet from Mr. Yagami (_Hmm...didn't I get this last year?_ Light had wondered), and a new camera from Matsuda.

Here comes the disaster. The alcohol was starting to do its work, so Light was getting a little tipsy. He didn't do TOO much damage in the beginning – stealing L's dress and putting it on in the bathroom with L, perfectly matching the new frilly, pink toe socks he received from L, and, gratefully accepting the offer from Misa, put on her black boots. Mr. Yagami was starting to get a little horrified, but told himself, over and over, "A time to get to know each other, a time to get to know each other..."

L was edging away from Light slowly (but he had to admit, Light did look pretty damn good in the dress), but was unsuccessful because of the handcuffs, so he gnawed on his thumb instead. After about ten minutes, he finally realized that his thumb was bleeding. Misa seemed to have fun playing dress up with Light. And after an hour of Light being drunk, Misa insisted that, apparently, she had a photo shoot the next day, so she had to leave quickly and get some rest. Whether that was an excuse or not, nobody knew. Of course, L could hypothesis, but he had his hands, literally, full because of Light. Mr. Yagami decided to stop right there and then (his son was purring on L's lap and chewing the chain at the same time) and sleep. Matsuda followed Mr. Yagami down to their headquarters, letting out a sigh. He had been obediently quiet the whole party, even when he wanted to run away.

L tried to drag Light to the bedroom, but, giving up, deciding to let Light go on piggyback instead. Light, after realizing a few seconds later he was on piggyback, cried, "Giddy – hic – up, Gidd – hic – up..." L finally carried Light to the bedroom, all the while with a colossal sweat drop hovering next to his head. Arriving at the side of Light's bed, he promptly dropped Light onto Light's bed. With a thud, Light whined, "Oww...that hurt, Ryuuzaki-chan..."

L ignored him and rolled onto his own bed. Suddenly, he heard a THUD and then a plop! And then he found Light at the side of his bed.

"...What is it, Light-kun?" L said finally.

"Mrrow?" Light meowed, nodding at the empty space next to L on the bed.

"...I'm sorry, but n --" Light, not bothering to listen to L, plopped onto the bed and curled up next to L.

"Meow meow." Light replied, pushing his face into L's pillow. And then he crashed.

L stared at the now dead to the world Light and sighed. He pulled his blanket over both him and Light and turned over to the side opposite to Light. After a moment's hesitation, he flipped over to face Light.

"Merry Christmas, Light-kun," L whispered. He closed his eyes, smiling.

~The Crappy End~

Whoopee, it's finished. Umm, not much to say. Review? Give you L's sugary lollipops if you do? XD


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